MEN

1. All men are extremely busy.

2. Although they are so busy, they still have time for women.

3. Although they have time for women, they don't really care for them.

4. Although they don't really care for them, they always have one around.

5. Although they always have one around them, they always try their luck with others.

6. Although they try their luck with others, they get really pissed off if the first woman leaves them.

7. Although the woman leaves them they still don't learn from their mistakes and still try their luck with others.

WOMEN

1. The most important thing for a woman is financial security.

2. Although this is so important, they still go out and buy expensive clothes and stuff.

3. Although they always buy expensive clothes, they say they never have something to wear.

4. Although they never have something to wear, they always dress beautifully.

5. Although they always dress beautifully, their clothes are always just 'an old rag'.

6. Although their clothes are always 'just an old rag', they still expect you to compliment them.

7. Although they expect you to compliment them, when you do, they don't believe you !!

David Bissonette

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.

Sacha Guitry
After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.

Socrates
By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.

 Anonymous
Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.

Dumas
The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, 'What does a woman want?

Sigmund Freud
I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.

 
Anonymous
'Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.'

 
Sam Kinison
'There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage.'

James Holt McGavran
'I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the second one didn't.'

 
Patrick Murray
Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming
1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
2.. Whenever you're right, shut up.

 
Nash
The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once...


Anonymous
You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.

New Exam pattern in India (Revised)..                                                                        

 1. General students - Answer ALL questions....                

                                                                         
 2. OBC - WRITE ANY one question.                      
  

 3. SC - ONLY READ questions.                        


 4. ST - THANKS FOR COMING..                         

AND                                                                                                            

 5. Gujjars/Jats - THANKS FOR ALLOWING OTHERS TO ATTEND THE EXAMINATION ..    !!                                    

A man was sitting reading his papers when his wife hit him round the Head with a frying pan.
'What was that for?' the man asked.

The wife replied 'That was for the piece of paper with the name Jenny on it that I found in your pants pocket'.

The man then said 'When I was at the races last week Jenny was the name of the horse I bet on'

The wife apologized and went on with the housework.

Three days later the man is watching TV when his wife bashes him on the head with an even bigger frying pan, knocking him unconscious.

Upon re-gaining consciousness the man asked why she had hit again.

I am though an athiest, but with the past time I spent in this world, there is a realization of cyclicity in everything. 

There are good times and bad times one has to face. Sometimes, there is a time when we get entangled in uninvited problems.. even get dragged into them and there is no way to escape. There is some sort of weakness and recessiveness that takes us deeper and deeper into a negative and failed character. It may even cost our health, life or precisely make us see the worst  of this world. After that, a time comes, when we reach our peak of life in performance, career etc., and no one can touch us. May be, that is the time we actually relish the bad times gone by. Again, as we grow, the circle of life increases in diameter, and we keep going back to the bad times in cyclicity, but with lesser acuteness, like a larger circle as lesser momentum. This goes on in the entire life, like a vertical pendulum (dropping is positive, climbing back is negative time of life).

I believe.... there is some relationship in cyclicity of the planets and stars which with their movements cause occult changes in our body/brain all the time.. and hence all this happens.. Yes we are a heap full of minerals running inside us, and these magnetic circles affect our nature, health and prosperity.

I am quite amazed, which a panditji told me between the age of 12- 15 yrs. It has been happening as he predicted lot of major events from his patra, telling planet positions for me.  He tried lot of prayers, yagyas, angoothis to resolve during my hard times... but nothing ever changed and I had crossed all barriers on my own (the time when I did become an atheist).

However, he did realize during his resolving efforts (yagyas etc.), that not much of the prayers were being answered (actually nothing).. and he did say that these planets and stars have to pay you back later if they do not answer these prayers!

He passed away a couple of years back, and I do feel that I lost a legacy to know more about the rest of my life.

In conclusion, we need to live on our own, always doing the best. Bad times do come always, but we should face them undettered, as a part of life and be positive for the positive to come in future. We should always resolve the most difficult first, without wasting any time. We should not leave things for God to resolve.. as what mishap is happening is to be resolved, and should work as we want!

A woman went boating one Sunday taking with her some cans of coke which she put into the refrigerator of the boat. On Monday she was taken to the hospital and placed in the Intensive Care Unit. She died on Wednesday. The  autopsy concluded she died of Leptospirosis. This was traced to the can of coke she drank from, not using a glass. Tests showed that the can was infected by dried rat urine and hence the disease Leptospirosis. Rat urine contains toxic and deadly substances. It is highly recommended to thoroughly wash the upper part of soda cans before drinking out of them.  The cans are typically stocked in warehouses and transported straight to the shops without being cleaned. A study at NYCU showed that the tops of soda cans are more contaminated than public toilets (i e.) full of germs and bacteria. So wash them with water before putting them to the mouth to avoid any kind of fatal accident.

If you are ever forced by a thief or someone to take money out of an ATM machine, enter your pin number reversed. So if your number is 1254 mark 4521. The ATM machine will give you your money, but will automatically recognize this as a plea for help and will alert the police unknown to the thief. This option is in all ATM machines, but not many people know this.